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Silly Republicans! Maybe they work for Bush’s Justice Department.
(pic via C&L)
Oh, I know. All the Republicans who thought Obama’s election was going to be the end of the world can just suck it. Maybe there’s hope for us all.
[...]
This is supposed to be the week that the American Idol contestants get to sing whatever song they want. We all know that’s a bunch of bullshit since Danny let the cat out of the bag by telling us he didn’t get to sing the song he wanted last week. [...]
All we need now is a sling and a pine cone…
While most of you are fretting about the American auto industry, worried about the G20 (or gang of twenty) summit and the latest food recall, I’m breathing a huge sigh of relief [...]
First off, you’ll be glad to know that this website is certified bullshit free, just in case there was any doubt. Now on to the highlights:
1) Hey kids! What should you do if you find an atheist? You should avoid talking to them [...]
Cheer up, cowboys and girls! We haven’t sashayed in with an all-gay day in, like, forever, and that just won’t do.
• There’s a crisis in the heartland and it’s not the Red River spilling over its banks. A resolution in Missouri to honor a [...]
Sweet Supremes! It’s Motown week at the American Idol compound so already I don’t second that emotion, bitches. Smokey is one of those Idol mentors who tells all the contestants they’re wonderful to their faces, but inside he wants to pull out a 9mm Uzi and start mowing their shit [...]
For your visual enjoyment…
Hey, Paul Krugman!
Hey, Afro Ninja!
Afro Ninja Interview - watch more funny videos
Hey, Kill Bill!
Hey, rapping flight attendant!
It takes next to nothing to make me laugh.
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I ran around the web at lightning speed and here’s what I found:
1) There’s a civil war within the GOP and it’s burgeoning. Wonder why “burgeoning” and “Limbaugh” are in the same story?
2) Like a lingering cold sore and Sarah Palin’s presence on [...]
I ran around the web at lightning speed and here’s what I found:
1) There’s a civil war within the GOP and it’s burgeoning. Wonder why “burgeoning” and “Limbaugh” are in the same story?
2) Like a lingering cold sore and Sarah Palin’s presence on the national [...]
I’ll have you saying “wow” every time!
If you’re visiting this site via iPhone or iPod, you already know by now that I have created a version just for you. It’s very simplistic at the moment and contains the last ten entries, but it’ll do [...]
Faced with the reality that our system for imposing the death penalty can never be perfect, my conscience compels me to replace the death penalty with a solution that keeps society safe.
- New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson
I’m guessing Bill never met George W. Bush, former Governor of Texas, who once [...]
You know, the rich really aren’t like you and me. I know they still put their pants on one leg at a time like the rest of us, but come the fuck on:
• A woman who is divorcing the former CEO of United Technologies Corp. [...]
Holy Loretta! Your first clue that it’s country week on American Idol was the appearance of Randy Travis in the audience with his drag queen/manager/beard “wife.” To really prove that it’s country week, the Idolers will sing: not one, but two Garth Brooks songs; not one, but two Martina McBride [...]
To paraphrase Don Rumsfeld, there’s stuff you know, stuff you don’t know, some stuff you know but don’t care about, other stuff you don’t know but need to care about. Got that?
1) You know, it’s one thing for the Pope to proclaim that birth [...]
“Only white man would believe you could cut off top off blanket, sew it to bottom of blanket, and have longer blanket.”
Another season of American Idol and another two hours of our lives flushed down the toilet. I don’t know which is scarier: the Idolettes doing the songs of Michael Jackson or Paula’s appearance. She looks like a dead falcon, made to appear lifelike by applying bronzer and glitter makeup. Is [...]
So, I pickled my own chilli peppers (or chile peppers) with beautiful visual results. We’ll find out after a few weeks whether they taste as good as they look. I’m thinking they will.
I just love bringing in the sheaves of religious news…
1) You know times are tough when even God is running out of money. The Baptists here in Texas will have to resort to dipping into their emergency reserve fund. It must be serious, as [...]
Everything is turning to shit around here and I can prove it. Witness:
1) The ups and downs of the stock market can be directly traced to my investment activity. I have automatic investments into stock mutual funds set up for the 4th of the month [...]
I’ve been busier than CNBC’s Trish Regan‘s eyes darting off-camera (what DOES she keep looking at? Is David Faber flashing her on the sidelines?), so I only have time for a few newsy/humorousy bits.
• The Republican’s only leader in the Senate, Mitch [...]
I know you’re all sick and tired of seeing and hearing the bloated El Rushbo and the ultimate demise of Michael Steele as RNC chair as much as I, so it’s time for something completely different.
Here, then, is the perfect way to get back at your lazy husband, boyfriend, [...]
With the Kentucky Derby right around the corner...oh, who am I kidding? It’s always a great time for cocktails and my friend Kev and I have found our new, best friend. Screw the mint juleps, I say, ‘cause powdered sugar? Ain’t gonna happen at Alan’s [...]
Well, well, well. We can finally find something to blame for the financial crisis, and its name is the Gaussian copula function. It looks like this:
I’m no mathematician, but I’m pretty sure the part at the end inside the last set of parentheses [...]
I almost hate to do this to you, fixated as you are on what’s left of your 401(k), but I’d feel as criminal as Bernie Madoff if I didn’t weigh in on stories that most would like you to forget. Watch me roll.
1. The [...]
Swampland’s only Governor, Bobby Jindal, delivered his response to Obama’s speech and it landed with a resounding thud across the land. I would liken it to a bag of flaming dog shit on the front porch which can’t be extinguished, but that would be a bit harsh. Let’s just [...]
Something tells me we’re going to be hearing a lot from Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal (not his real name) for the next decade or three, starting with his stellar response to Obama’s big speech tonight. Still, questions remain.
Even though Bobby’s been a [...]
You’ll be fixated on cash this week, I just know it.
Since we’re all hoping to become “Slumdog Millionaire”s before we die, there’s a few other things we need to take care of first, like turning the nation into a Citi and making Bank of America the real [...]
We love us some Deborah Cox around here. She’s like the dance diva, R&B mama we never had - almost like Lt. Uhura from Star Trek before she gained all her weight back and went on Psychic Friends with Dionne, but not exactly. Anywhose, Miss Deborah came out with a [...]
You probably thought “American Idol” drama queen Tatiana Del Toro was TMTH, but honey, wait’ll you get a load of the generalized craziness and downright delusional thoughts coming from Michele Bachmann, esteemed Representative from Minnesota. She claims:
• Republicans were shut out of [...]
Think your 401(k) balance sucks? You are not alone, my little poor-housemates.
Bill Gates still has more money than you, but the value of his personal investments fell by $3B in the 4Q. If things continue at this pace, he won’t even be able to afford a SaladShooter® [...]
Giving new ammunition to the religious fanatics, the Arkansas House of Representatives approved a bill allowing guns in houses of worship.
If you search the Bible, you’ll find many references to killing and death. I know - I looked it up. Let’s see what [...]
Kim Jong-il: It will be 911 times 2356. 
