I did it!!!!
[...]Like I said, trouble was afoot, and it didn’t take long to find out whose foot it would be. The excess weight of my robotic arm caused some problems. The first of many problems was when I stood up on a rock to look out into the distance. The rock [...]
We went and got Alabaster and told him about the collapse. He looked worried for a little bit but he went and got a long rope and we lowered it down into the crevice. We saved Weasel but we couldn’t the bottom of the chasm well enough so we had [...]
After I had explained to Dave all of the amazing things Plittereeg could do, I headed out, followed by an amazed Dave, to check on the progress of our buggy. It was nearly finished, and as luck would have it, they had discovered the key ingredient. They were going [...]
Not the arm as in the arm from the last chapter, no. I mean the robotic arm attached to my body. As we discovered soon after Dave and I arrived at the great flying pickle jar, my arm’s functions were limited.
The more cool stuff consisted of a large static shock, [...]
I waited for an hour or two to see if #476248 would come back out. It didn’t, and eventually I was called in. I was completely freaked out by the tremendous metal machinery. Suddenly, an ominous humming started. It got louder and louder until . . . POW. I was [...]
As I took a seat in the waiting room with lots of other creatures, I attempted to make conversation with one of them. It was around six feet tall and looked like a human except for the fact that it had three black beady eyes rather than the customary two [...]
When I awoke, Kaptain Kronk was still babbling on about his favorite childhood pet. There appears to be no stopping him. I guess this is how he tortured his captives, by pelting them aimlessly with an endless hail of words. He slithered, crackled, fuzzed, and popped over to my seeds [...]
I swished around inside my glass tube, my eyes darting back and forth from Dave and a hulking shadow steadily approaching me. A creature emerged from the darkness. The humongous creature looked like a deformed octopus with three eyes and more tentacles than I could count. Its mottled raspberry skin [...]
Two things happened after I woke up that morning. The first thing was the lights went on with a blinding flash. The second thing was that when I went into the control room to look for Alabaster, I found that all of the ejection seats had been activated.
I told [...]
Unfortunately, Weasel thought we were actually in a giant flying pickle jar and spent the rest of the afternoon trying to figure out where the pickles were kept. Fortunately, he did eventually find a rusted shut jar of dill pickles, but unfortunately he spent the rest of the evening trying [...]
“This,” proclaimed Dave, “is the great flying pickle jar!”
“And my friends are inside of it?” I asked suspiciously.
“I think so,” said Dave.
“Well, okay then, let’s go inside- Wait a minute- did you say ‘the great flying pickle jar’?”
“Yes indeed,” gushed Dave. “I came up with it myself.”
“Oooookay,” I responded [...]
“Dave?”
“Yes.”
“Why Dave?” I asked confused.
“Well, because…I’m named Dave.”
“So, how did you get here, Dave?”
“I walked here.”
“Walked to this planet?”
“No, walked to this cave. I got to this planet by means of an escape pod.”
“So did we.”
“Anyway, did you see a group of a white lion, a four armed weasel and [...]
We clambered back down the tooth and out of the zoo and followed the deafening bellow. As we were running into the back area of the cave, where the bellow had come from, I heard Weasel murmuring something like, “’bout time I came back to this part of the cave.” [...]
Personas is a visualization project from MIT that converts digital footprints into a category breakdown that describes an individual. The mission of the web project, however, is not to provide some definitive interpretation of one’s data. Its creators hope to raise awareness about the capricious nature of data mining. [...]
“Are you a weasel?” I asked inquisitively.
“No,” again with a thick Irish accent.
“Then if you’re not a weasel, but your name is Weasel, what are you?”
“A waysel.”
“A weasel?”
“No, a waysel.”
“A waysel?”
“Aye.”
“So, you’re a waysel named Weasel?”
“Aye.”
“You’re an Irish waysel named Weasel?”
“Aye.”
“Then if you’re from Ireland, how did you get here?”
“Where’s [...]
When we arrived in the home of the little green creature, we noticed one major difference from houses on Earth: the furniture was built into the floors and walls and couldn’t be moved.
“My name is Plittereeg. Welcome to my home,” said the little green creature. Plittereeg led us to [...]
As we trudged along the desolate planet surface, we didn’t see any signs of life. We walked along the barren rocky desert for hours on end before we found a cave where we slept for the night.
When I woke up, very strangely, to something patting my head. When I [...]
When I woke up the Alabaster Lion was already wide awake and fiddling with the controls.
“Good morning,” he murmured. I checked my watch. It was 9:30 am. “We’re about to land,” said the lion.
“You don’t seem all that excited about it.”
“That’s because we’re not landing where I expected. I [...]
We kept climbing up the ladder until we made it out. Lion waited five minutes for voices then signaled that the coast was clear. We walked outside the ring of gears and I took off my goggles.
I followed the lion through dozens of narrow passageways and secret hatches until we [...]
That was what the ductopi had said. Why hadn’t I remembered that? I might have been able to escape if I had remembered that. I slowly backed up against the wall trying not to make any sudden movements. In vain, I came up with the idea that I might be [...]
The next couple of hours after the Military Exus Leader had left, I explored the room I had been left in. On the far end of the room where the domed window ended there was a control board, a pilot’s seat and a joystick. On the other end of the [...]
“What’s a Military Exus Leader?” I asked.
“The equivalent of a ‘president’ on your planet,” his voice sunk lower when he said “president”. “In any case, I lead my soldiers into battle.”
“What the @$% are you?” I shouted.
“Calm down,” said one of the ductopi lined up on the left wall. One [...]
Once I could look around the room clearly, the first thing I saw was a huge metal grate which I assumed at that point was an air conditioning vent and was the cause of all the cold air. The second thing I saw was a sci-fi style sliding door, like [...]
Ducks.
Yes, ducks. I don’t mean “duck,” like, “duck down,” I mean ducks like the waterfowl. This story started with ducks.
It all happened a couple of months ago at the park pond. My name is Drake. Ironic, yes? (for the uninformed, Drake is a male duck).
Anyway, it was around the time [...]
