Bears playing hockey:
Update: WEINER DOGS!!!!
[...]How bizarre is it when the number two link on Google for Brian Chontosh, a bona fide war hero and recipient of the Navy Cross, goes to a site devoted to "debunking" urban myths?
Is the idea that a Marine officer could perform acts of heroism so outlandish that it [...]
As of this morning, the Marine team was holding onto the lead by about a $7000 margin. But as you can see, Army is closing fast! We are doing great, but need to keep up the pressure during our sprint to the finish line! Let me remind [...]

Thanks for your patience, guys. Due to the good auspices of my two Mystery Demotivator Judges, the Editorial Staff is pleased to announce the results of last week's contest:
EMBRACING THE SUCK CATEGORY:
First prize:
DL Sly
Second prize:
BEST APPLICATION OF INTER SERVICE SNARK:
First place goes to [...]