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Tales from the Stump

  • Inspired

    In case you haven't noticed, Old and I haven't been around these parts in a while. I come with no excuses, though. Instead, I want to offer a somewhat inspiring tale; one that I experienced while riding the bus home from work one day. I offer it to you, the [...]
    Posted: July 20, 2009, 6:34pm EDT
  • Soap Moguls, back up in this mutha

    Yep, not only is the blog up and running, but Old and I are inching closer to having a complete corner on the market. Which market, you ask? The soap market, suckas! Yep, Old came over yesterday and we concocted a sweet Christmas-time soap recipe: Cinnamon [...]
    Posted: December 16, 2008, 7:56pm EST
  • Dwarf Ride The Whip

    Enclosure: [download]
    Once again, the rains have come and settled into the Stump for at least the next 11 months. With this damp chill comes a deep desire to hibernate and absorb the world of the moving picture from the comfort of a soft sofa, warm blanket and enormous mug of coffee [...]
    Posted: November 27, 2008, 12:22am EST
  • From Old to Young

    Fear not, Tales from the Stump lives on, it's just that I'm going to be taking an indefinite hiatus to work on my latest project, From Old to Young, a daily journal detailing my wifey's last days of pregnancy, the impending birth of our soon-to-be son, and the next' [...]
    Posted: August 15, 2008, 6:37pm EDT
  • Guest Editorial: Oldie's Obsession

    [The following guest editorial was written by my dear wife, Kes, who, upon being asked to write an article, immediately struck upon this tribute to an embarrassingly obsessive tic of mine. Enjoy. -Old]

    Jeff once eluded to the note taking master in a past blog…well that, folks, is my [...]
    Posted: July 31, 2008, 2:07pm EDT
  • Kennedy School

    For those unfamiliar with Portland, we love our movies. More specifically, we love our movie theaters. And to go further, we love our funky, second-run and independent film playing theaters. The McMenmin brothers capitalized off of this when they combined their success in the brewpub industry with that of local [...]
    Posted: July 22, 2008, 8:25am EDT
  • Glacier

    While we're on the topic of road trips and national parks, I thought I'd share the highlights of a recent trip Syd and I took to Glacier National Park. Located in the northern part of Montana, just south of the Canadian border, Glacier boasts some of [...]
    Posted: July 16, 2008, 7:42am EDT
  • Arches/Zion/Bryce/Grand Canyon Flicks No.2

    Here continues my selection of photos from Kes and I's trip earlier this year to the Southwest. See the previous post for more details.

    The Navajo Loop Trail in Zion. Simply awe-inspiring.
    [...]
    Posted: July 11, 2008, 6:13pm EDT
  • Arches/Zion/Bryce/Grand Canyon Flicks No.1

    Earlier this year, Kes and I decided to head out on one last big road trip, knowing that gas prices were about to skyrocket and that the little one Kes was carrying in her rapidly expanding marsupial pouch would soon keep us housebound for at least [...]
    Posted: July 08, 2008, 12:47pm EDT
  • Gargoyle Park and Portland Pork


    My homebwon Steve was in town many weeks back, coming up for his first visit to our fair City of Roses. Along with him came a cast of crazy motherfuckers, comprised of Maniac Lee, Nate the Coke Lord, DANDAVE, and Slumbering Brian (who, of course, [...]
    Posted: July 06, 2008, 5:02pm EDT
  • Rapture Rhapsody


    Though the situation in which this originally came up in discussion has since been lost to the fog of an old man's memory, I thought I'd share the eternally cheerful lyrics of a fundamentalist rapture tune that my father used to urge his Christian flock [...]
    Posted: July 01, 2008, 10:12pm EDT
  • Everyone needs a kiddie pool

    With the longest day of the year just behind us, we are officially in summer. Although that just means Portlanders can now expect approximately 12 days of sun before the 10-month winter rains begin again, it is still time to rejoice. And what better way to celebrate than to risk [...]
    Posted: June 24, 2008, 8:03am EDT
  • Holding it Down in the Stump


    My brother Dan (aka MC Roofless, one half of the world-renowned Weapons of Mic Destruction) rolled through the City of Roses a few weeks back, fresh off a trip to Seattletown, fiance Marie and friend Colleen in tow. It was Marie's first time in the' [...]
    Posted: June 22, 2008, 9:23pm EDT
  • Soap Moguls Back In This Mother Bee-Eye-Itch

    Put your orders in, suckas. Oldie and I are again attacking the soap market. Fresh bars of lemongrass delight, with an added dash of crushed pear seed to exfoliate your gentle exoderms, are now available at the bargain price of $3.00 per [...]
    Posted: June 21, 2008, 8:36pm EDT
  • A Necessary Clarification

    Coming home from work today, bone-weary and sleep-deprived from my sixth straight shift in ZooDooLand (and still have four more to go before a day off...groan), I finally managed to crack open the ol' email account. Not having checked the blog for several days, I was quite surprised to see' [...]
    Posted: June 17, 2008, 6:20pm EDT
  • The Move

    As I mentioned in my lengthy apology below, part of the reason I've been absent on this blog is because I recently moved and was without internet for a while. In the spirit of keeping the blog alive, as well as to keep our readers up to date on our' [...]
    Posted: June 16, 2008, 7:31am EDT
  • The Ancient Potato Eaters Win


    How appropriate.
    The tied-winners of our most recent poll (asking what your 40 ounce malt liquor of choice is) run parallel with Jeff and I's cultural backgrounds. He's a leprechaun-faced, fuck-the-Brits, Once-obsessed, Mickey's-drinking Irish folker. I'm a rambling, geezer-toothed, shitty-diapered, wisdom-spitting Old English head. And [...]
    Posted: June 12, 2008, 12:57pm EDT
  • Final Push

    Here it is, folks; our last concerted effort to revitalize the blog. Oldie and I have been seriously slacking for the last six months. I'm mostly to blame, as I've been without internet for the last few months, and prior to that was caught up in the beginning stages of [...]
    Posted: June 11, 2008, 7:42am EDT
  • Did It Me-Self Bookshelf


    Taking advantage of a very brief lull in the icy, spirit-dampening rainstorms of late, I busted out the box of spray paint that had been laying dormant since my graffiti-filled youth, and tackled a project that had been on the queue since last fall. Jeff [...]
    Posted: April 25, 2008, 9:24pm EDT
  • Character Love

    Not sure what childhood influence (Mom, was it the lead-based paint chip smoothies? Dad's mongoloid sperm?) resulted in our need to create "characters" such as these, but Dan and I have been working away at them for decades now.

    Without further ado, please bear witness to Caveman Dan, the' [...]
    Posted: April 22, 2008, 11:20pm EDT
  • Catching Up

    I'm not sure an apology would be appropriate for such a dismal effort in maintaining this blog. While Olde and I have our reasons, none should have kept us from writing at least 5-10 a month. Hopefully Olde's latest blog, as well as this from me, will reinvigorate us and [...]
    Posted: March 25, 2008, 9:42am EDT
  • A bit of this, a bit of that...


    Posts have become less than frequent lately, and I apologize to you, our loyal readers. I'm still out hitting the streets, e'y day all day, looking for work, and Jeff has a girlfriend, which if you know him, explains everything. As I'm beginning to become' [...]
    Posted: March 20, 2008, 1:29pm EDT
  • Alaskan Bush Journey .2

    Enclosure: [download]
    Well, that was certainly more than a day or two, but who's counting...anyway, enjoy this second helping of photos from our trip to Alaska.

    =================================

    First thing my father noticed upon entering town was this official City message board with a lovingly handcrafted note attached proclaiming that the' [...]
    Posted: March 13, 2008, 6:42pm EDT
  • Alaskan Bush Journey .1

    Enclosure: [download]
    Oh, the wilds of Canada, or as Kes and her family call it, Southeast Alaska. It's a majestic place, filled with grizzly bears the size of houses, wife-swapping hillbillies, limited public infrastructure (no electricity, roadways, running water, or government), shotgun-toting rebel fishmongers, and the most pristine silence present on this' [...]
    Posted: February 28, 2008, 10:24pm EST
  • Scrabble Bags

    On any given Thursday night, in a dark and smoky bar tucked beneath the Morrison Bridge, a battle of wit and wisdom is being played out. In this industrial part of the city, where wharehouses and homeless encampments fit in more than the aforementioned bar, a phenemenon begins...already starting to [...]
    Posted: February 19, 2008, 9:57am EST
  • In a fight, Sergio would crush Roy.













    Surprising absolutely no one who cares to follow the Portland Trailblazers (a growing number nationally), our recent and highly scientific poll shows that 46% of readers favor Brandon Roy amongst the team's' [...]
    Posted: February 07, 2008, 9:00pm EST
  • Welcome to the Red Flag

    While slowly becoming one of Olde's and my favorite bars, The Red Flag seemingly has very few qualities that would propel it to such acclaim. There are no signature drinks, no decorative themes, nor is there a pool table. What the Red Flag does have, though, [...]
    Posted: January 29, 2008, 11:27am EST
  • Dublin Eagle Tanner Butt

    Enclosure: [download]
    Oregon is a beautiful place, there's no denying that. Despite our shortcomings (such as the plethora of backwards backwoods villages full of inbred racists...just kidding, Hillsboro!), our natural surroundings are some of the most breathtaking in the U.S. of A. Nowhere is this more evident [...]
    Posted: January 29, 2008, 9:57pm EST
  • Breitenbush Hippydrome


    Kes is the one that's pregnant, and yet I'm fucking exhausted, too. How's that work? Anyway, this + the move next week = no blog posts lately. Sorry guys, it's just not that important in the grand scheme of things. I write this because some crazy [...]
    Posted: January 27, 2008, 8:19pm EST
  • King Muhfuckin Cool Nutz

    When Northwest hip hop finally gets its due, it may be too late for Cool Nutz to capitalize off of it. However, his legend will be cemented nonetheless, as he has been to the Portland rap scene what E-40 is to the Bay. Since founding Jus [...]
    Posted: January 17, 2008, 2:17pm EST
  • Scattershot Scribblers

    Apologies for the sheer negligence Jeff and I have shown this blog...not sure what Jeff's excuse is, but I've been knee deep in preparing to quit my job again, the discovery that I'm going to be a Dad (oh, the horror! Can we say rat traps and Tabasco sauce?), [...]
    Posted: January 16, 2008, 7:28pm EST
  • Impressions of Portland [Guest Blog]

    My sister, Kate (aka Slug), was kind enough to add to our blog with her impressions of the Stump, based on a recent trip to the Northwest. We only had two and a half days, which was cut short but my ill-timed flu, but we made the most of it.[...]
    Posted: January 14, 2008, 10:21am EST
  • Your first place Blazers

    The Blazers are getting stingy. They've been hoarding wins by the handful for over a month now, and show no signs of sharing them any time soon. After an amazing 13-game win streak, they've been able to snag four more consecutive wins after the original streak was snapped by Utah [...]
    Posted: January 10, 2008, 11:26am EST
  • Portlanders Vote "Down With Whitey!"


    The results of our latest poll, asking fellow Stumptowners what Portland is missing in its quest for Greatness:
    • 43% chose "Less honkies, more diversity." Amen, down with Whitey.
    • 25% chose "Another professional sports franchise, preferably MLB."
    • 18% chose "Less Gresham." We just lost two readers, both the only [...]
    Posted: January 05, 2008, 12:29pm EST
  • Portland, meet Olde...part 2 [Guest Blog]



    A while back, I wrote a blog giving an in depth look into the
    deep dimensions of Olde. Now, thanks to Ian, our readers are getting another look at the mystic himself.
    ______________________
    Not much is known about the renowned wizard by [...]
    Posted: December 31, 2007, 9:41am EST
  • Exploding Lather...On Sale Now

    So it begins; Olde and I have jumped head first into the soap business. No turning back now. Last week, just in time for the holidays, Olde and I, despite the ribbing and teasing from friends (prompting us to unofficially title our venture the "Really...We're Not [...]
    Posted: December 21, 2007, 10:07am EST
  • Photographic Nuggletts


    -As many of our friends know, this year's Santacon has already come and gone. We're still reeling in holiday cheer (aka Drunkenness), frantically trying to piece together our respective notes scribbled on the outside of crushed beer cans, elf panties, and various other unmentionables. For [...]
    Posted: December 19, 2007, 2:47pm EST
  • Portland is hecka bloggy

    Don't let our seemingly small viewership fool you. Yes, few people vote in our polls (it's on your right...take some time to make your voice heard), and even fewer leave comments (thanks go out to the faithfuls that do). However, without the efforts of Olde and myself, the Portland blog [...]
    Posted: December 15, 2007, 4:18pm EST
  • Honkey Indian Cuisine and King Cool Nutz

    As much as I dread the first week of December, when I inch closer and closer to the ripe age of 30, I can't deny that I was treated to a very nice birthday this last Thursday, the 6th. My folks came down from Appalachia (um, [...]
    Posted: December 07, 2007, 3:24pm EST
  • Portland Repeals Prohibition


    Okay, so maybe not...but they did celebrate the 75th anniversary of Prohibition's death throes, with an all-locals music/entertainment ear/eye-feast at Berbati's (is it just me, or has this club been just killing shit this year?) last night. Thank you, Portland, for yet another free [...]
    Posted: December 06, 2007, 1:49pm EST
  • David Bragdon is Most Hilarious

    To give folks outside of Portland a taste of how we do politics here, peep this recent official press release (seriously a top contender for the best of its kind, ever) from David Bragdon, the Council President for Metro, our regional government. This guy is awesomely good.
    [...]
    Posted: December 05, 2007, 3:37pm EST
  • Dinglebits

    A few tidbits covering the last couple days:
    - The Clinton Street Theater continues to impress with its wide array of obscure and cooky films. While dining at Subrosa, across the street from the theater, Old, Kes, and I noticed the following two movies were [...]
    Posted: December 04, 2007, 11:32pm EST
  • Portlander's Love Gluttony and Drunkenness


    The results of our latest poll, asking Portlandites what their favorite rainy day activities are (multiple choices were available for simultaneous selection, thus the total percentage adding up to well over 100%, you sleuth, you):
    • 48% will get re-acquainted with their favorite pub/restaurant/coffee shop
    • 44% will camp [...]
    Posted: December 01, 2007, 4:50pm EST
  • Portland to close this weekend

    As we see every year here in Portland, a severe weather pattern swipes into the region and causes the city to shut down. As we've seen the last few years in a row, even the slightest bit of freezing, and an accompanying snow, will send Portland [...]
    Posted: November 30, 2007, 1:31pm EST
  • RAG Mens Style (Shameless Plug)


    Here are a few pictures from the opening of my sister's upscale men's clothing boutique, RAG Mens Style, located in Bellvue, WA. Their website is still under construction (hurry up and remedy that, Seren!), so she'd probably appreciate it if you ignored its existence.
    Now, [...]
    Posted: November 27, 2007, 2:04pm EST
  • Hey Dan, is that you? [Guest Blog by Mike]


    To celebrate the 26th anniversary of Dan Cooper's successful hijacking of a plane departing from Portland, our main man Mike (my paw in Amboy) has shared a little piece about the man himself.


    Bugaboo Man
    For the law enforcement community, especially the Feds, [...]
    Posted: November 26, 2007, 11:53pm EST
  • Turkey Day

    Either I'm really getting into the holiday spirit, or I'm at a loss for more important stuff to write about. Whatever the case, I thought I'd share my Thanksgiving.

    As is becoming tradition now, my mom, Mike and I spent Thanksgiving with some old friends [...]
    Posted: November 24, 2007, 10:53pm EST
  • Vory V Zakone vs. Roscoe Orman

    Your monthly fix of Oldie's nuggets:
    ========================


    -Think the Bush administration's latest funding request for the war in Iraq is unreasonable? Well, combine it with the (publicly-acknowledged) total cost of the war so far, and we're looking at a meager $611.5 billion. Wanna know what we could have [...]
    Posted: November 22, 2007, 9:35pm EST
  • More weird Portland

    A lot of what makes Portland funky and unique are the subtle things. For example, I wrote a blog a while back about a movie theater that played "Suppressed Vicious War Cartoons" (see The "weird Portland" myth). Now, the Clinton Street Theater, which played the [...]
    Posted: November 19, 2007, 11:26am EST
  • Tunnels, Tubes and other Dark Spots [Guest Post]


    The following tale is my father's take on his most recent visit to Portland, briefly described in a previous post of mine, Seven Days of Portland Life.
    ===================

    An odd mixture of religious zealot, scientist and pervert with more than a dash of [...]
    Posted: November 16, 2007, 1:26pm EST
  • Reader Recognition

    To all of our three readers, we want you to know you don't go unnoticed. This blog is dedicated to you, our oh so faithful viewers. For without you, there would be no "us."
    We realize that in a busy world such as ours, three minutes can be a [...]
    Posted: November 14, 2007, 1:15pm EST
  • Drunken Baby Campfest


    I know it's lazy to just throw up some photos, but blog or die, right? Anyways, force yourself to get over it, as you'll be seeing a lot of these kinds of posts from me over the next few weeks as I blaze through my [...]
    Posted: November 13, 2007, 3:06pm EST
  • You call it meth, I call it soap

    Ahh, the wonderul process of saponification. Much like turning powder cocain into crack rocks, or cooking up some meth, making soap requires some basic preparation similar to the aforementioned home-chemist pursuits.
    Oldie and I have decided to embark on a promising and lucrative soap-making venture, one [...]
    Posted: November 09, 2007, 2:40pm EST
  • Seven Days of Portland Life


    Damn you, Dad.

    You see, my father was in town last week for seven days, and he wore us ragged. I haven't consumed so much alcohol, eaten such a quantity of rich food, and stayed so busy in what seems like over a year...[...]
    Posted: November 06, 2007, 3:35pm EST
  • Rip City Rising?

    A new era in Blazers basketball?
    Maybe, but the early results remain eerily similar to the previous year's campaign. After three games, the Blazers have yet to chalk up a win and look as lost on the court as Darius Miles looks in the gym. While the season is [...]
    Posted: November 05, 2007, 10:14am EST
  • Billy Mitchell is God, and I'm a fool

    Oldie did it to me...again. You may have read, a few months back, that Old tricked me in to seeing a movie without telling me what it was. He got me to the theater under the pretense that the movie's description would not do it justice, [...]
    Posted: October 24, 2007, 10:49am EDT
  • Week in Review

    I thought I'd take a page out of Old's book and offer some tidbit news items for our readers. The last week was a busy one for Portland, in which the national spotlight was on our dear little Stumptown.

    - First, the city got to show the world how [...]
    Posted: October 21, 2007, 7:28pm EDT
  • Fat-Faced Caricatures

    I must admit that I haven't caught a South Park episode in years (a decade?), most likely since abandoning channel surfing back in high school. However, who can deny the greatness that is the South Park character. This site was passed my way, and allows you to create your [...]
    Posted: October 18, 2007, 7:45pm EDT
  • Portland: First Impressions (Guest Editorial)

    Here's the first of (hopefully) many future posts by a featured guest. If you are interested in writing for our blog, send a sample post to either Jeff or myself.

    This one is courtesy of our friend Anto, and was originally featured on his blog, 10 Days [...]
    Posted: October 16, 2007, 11:41am EDT
  • Watch out for that dirty bomb

    Portlanders will be in for a treat on Tuesday, 10/16, for it is not everyday one witnesses the intentional detonation of a dirty bomb and subsequent emergency response of the city's authorities. This Tuesday, though, you can soak under a cloud of radiation and watch the police, firemen, paramedics, and [...]
    Posted: October 15, 2007, 10:20am EDT
  • Underdog Lucky Lab Declared Preeminent Portland Brewery


    The results of our most recent poll, asking who the finest brewery is in Stumptown:
    • Lucky Lab: killed the competition, taking 33% of the vote.
    • McMenamin's: 18% (Seriously? Their IPA tastes like Band-Aids.)
    • BridgePort, Laurelwood, Old Lompoc, MacTarnahan's, and Widmer Bros. all tied, with a respectable 8% each. [...]
    Posted: October 12, 2007, 1:28pm EDT
  • Ghosts of Celilo

    For 10,000 years, the mid-Columbia River has been a sacred and traditional fishing area for local Native Americans, referred to as River People. These River People, or Wy-Kan-Ush-Pum (literally, Salmon people), were made up of the Nez Perce Nation, the Confederated Tribes of the Umatilla Indian [...]
    Posted: October 10, 2007, 10:24am EDT
  • Avoid the Extra Glucosa...


    As Jeff has frequently informed our loyal readers, I am a huge fan of the "gibblet." The gibblet (or nibblet, tiddbit, nuggeeeeet and dozens of other variations) refers to a tasty little snack, preferably of the greasy, fried variety. I search high and low for [...]
    Posted: October 08, 2007, 5:16pm EDT
  • Greasy Tidderbites

    Assorted news and adventure updates...reading Jeff's sarcastic (and ironic...you hipster!) last entry has sucked all the creativity out of my heart and soul, so this is what you get:
    • Jeff and I took a trip on down to City Hall to participate in a City [...]
    Posted: October 02, 2007, 10:19am EDT
  • King Lou in Portland

    "Who so pulleth out this sword of this stone and anvil is rightwise king born of England."

    According to legend, only one true king would be able to pull out the sword mentioned in the quote above. If you remember your bedtime stories well, you'd know that Arthur, the [...]
    Posted: October 01, 2007, 11:00am EDT
  • Murder Bliss

    ec·sta·sy

    -noun, plural -sies.
    1. rapturous delight.
    2. an overpowering emotion or exaltation; a state of sudden, intense feeling.
    3. the frenzy of poetic inspiration.
    4. mental transport or rapture from the contemplation of divine things.

    Sure, after reading this article describing the growing prevalence of [...]
    Posted: September 26, 2007, 1:20pm EDT
  • J.B. Obrien's

    No, not one of my relatives...J.B. Obrien's is an Irish pub in King City, cleverly serving as a front for the faithful Philly fanatics who have migrated west. Every Sunday during football season, Eagles fans flock to J.B. Obrien's to root for their beloved team. The [...]
    Posted: September 24, 2007, 10:10am EDT
  • Portland Music Scene Pt. III (MusicfestNW)

    Yaaaawn...two weeks later, and I'm still recovering my life force chi energy from this year's MusicfestNW, an annual music festival hosted by the guys and gals over at Willamette Week. Unlike the free, all ages, all local PDX Pop Now! festival, this one [...]
    Posted: September 21, 2007, 8:16pm EDT
  • Poll items

    For our next poll (the current one is not done, so keep voting), we want you, the readers, to provide us with some ideas. The poll will survey where Portlanders take out-of-town guests to get a sense of the city and it's environs. We're not looking for, "When my parents [...]
    Posted: September 15, 2007, 10:13am EDT
  • Great, I want my money back...

    As I've gradually (reluctantly) become a Blazers fan, I can admit to getting caught up in the hype of a new era of basketball in Portland. Last year's draft produced a trio of players (Roy, Aldridge, and Rodriguez) that brought a hope and excitement to [...]
    Posted: September 14, 2007, 7:26pm EDT
  • Portland Music Scene Pt. II (PDX Pop Now!)

    The scene laid out before us is something born of an anarchic nightmare. Hundreds, if not thousands, of certainly-drunken teenagers are mulling about in an orgy of frustration and destruction. Bottles are being smashed against the apocalyptic-stark warehouse walls, voices are crying out in protest, men with [...]
    Posted: September 13, 2007, 1:32pm EDT
  • Road Trip, Shmoad Trip

    Peep the tales from my recent cross-country drive at the following address:

    http://jeffscrosscountry.blogspot.com

    You'll find the account to be a work in progress. There is too much to write in one sitting, so it will be a day by day progression. Check on it from time to [...]
    Posted: September 13, 2007, 11:48pm EDT
  • Punch Your Goiter

    As the summer winds to an end, bringing with it the accompanying dread of 8 months of rain, Oldie and I took full advantage of a recent, warm summer's night. For those that know us, this could only mean one thing: a rendezvous on the Steel Bridge with the third [...]
    Posted: September 12, 2007, 11:20am EDT
  • Portland Music Scene Pt. I (Hip Hop)


    This is the first entry in a three-part series on Portland's music scene. Tonight I head out to the MusicFestNW festival, and I realized I still have notes from two previous concerts/festivals that I had yet to share with you, our loyal readers. We'll start [...]
    Posted: September 06, 2007, 4:00pm EDT
  • Powell Lives

    When driving down SE Powell Blvd, it is easy to cast it off as an ugly, depressing and overly busy thoroughfare. That's because it is. Especially in comparison to other arteries cutting through Southeast Portland, such as Hawthorne and Belmont Streets. Not only do you fear [...]
    Posted: September 05, 2007, 8:50am EDT
  • Poll Results Unsurprising

    The final tally of votes for August's poll "Does Portland need Major League Baseball?" is as follows:

    -Certainly. The city should purchase the SF Giants and move them north.
    = 22%
    -Mos Def. Any old team would do, as long as they're not called [...]
    Posted: September 04, 2007, 2:01pm EDT
  • This Morning's Meteor "Shower"...

    ...was more like a clogged meteor sprinkler.

    For the first time in personal memory, I actually set my alarm for 4:15 am in order to witness what was supposed to be one of the best meteor showers in the last 2 1/2 decades. In 30 minutes, I saw exactly [...]
    Posted: September 01, 2007, 11:31am EDT
  • Liza Rietz/John Blasioli Grand Opening

    If you're into Stumptown's homegrown fashion scene, you've probably already either heard of or been invited to the grand opening of the joint venture between Liza Rietz (Kes and I are really happy for you!) and a broken spoke's John Blasioli. Otherwise, the party is tonight from 5-8pm at the [...]
    Posted: August 31, 2007, 11:17am EDT
  • KATU Says, Hey Blogger.

    Last week, out of the mists I received a strange Evite asking me and around 300 locals to a "Portland Blogger Meetup" hosted by KATU (one of our local idiot box news channels) and the mysterious Brian Westbrook. Admittedly, my first reaction was to click the delete button...however, [...]
    Posted: August 31, 2007, 10:33pm EDT
  • Dick Cheney, Pre-Satanic Possession


    You've probably all seen this video by now, but just in case you haven't, here's Dick "Shoot you in the face!" Cheney's take on Iraq circa 4/15/1994. His stance here viewed in light of the current situation in the Middle East will make your [...]
    Posted: August 29, 2007, 9:55am EDT
  • Conspiratorial YACHT Films

    There is an explanation for the "plethora" of posting occuring lately...Jeff is off gallavanting around the country with his co-worker buds (probably learning how best to hate one another by this point), while I've been hiding in my closet, blinds closed, door triple-locked, phone and internet disconnected, unshaven and babbling [...]
    Posted: August 29, 2007, 9:23pm EDT
  • Please Vote

    The (very very slim...thanks, Mayor Potter) prospect of getting a baseball team in Portland is very serious to Old and I. Please take three seconds to vote in our poll (see side bar on right) and let us know what you think about baseball (the Beavers don't count) in Stumptown.Old [...]
    Posted: August 15, 2007, 12:07pm EDT
  • Larry Hanks the Mouth Harp Maestro

    I've known Larry Hanks through my wife (her mother's long-time "life" partner) for quite a few years now. Aside from being a good friend and an all-around great guy, he's a very gifted musician. He's been heavily involved in the old time/folk music scene for decades, [...]
    Posted: August 14, 2007, 4:39pm EDT
  • Fred and the Frisco Rat

    Here it is, August 14th, and the summer has nearly passed without the typical hangs at the river, nights drinking 40s on the Steel Bridge, or late-night gallivants around the Stump. Not willing to let the summer pass by without some of the aforementioned fun, Old and I decided to [...]
    Posted: August 14, 2007, 10:05am EDT
  • Currently My Favorite Craigslist Ad

    Kes and I have decided to vacate our current shit hole of an apartment and move into a new one. Typing in "shit hole" into the Craigslist keyword box to narrow down our options, I came up with this beauty (original spelling left intact).
    For your viewing pleasure:
    ===========================
    [...]
    Posted: August 13, 2007, 5:23pm EDT
  • Portland, meet Old

    The blog entry below was originally meant to be a preface to another blog. I wanted to make fun of Old for a set of notes he gave me to help remember the events of a recent night of drinking. The fact that he was keeping track of our misadventures [...]
    Posted: August 08, 2007, 6:49am EDT
  • Breaking News from Months Ago!

    It's once again that time for a round of Oldie's random outdated "news" tidbits. And there was much rejoicing (or was that groaning?):

    -Just a heads up to our readers who are located within the fallout zone of a potential nuclear bomb attack here in Portland. Apparently the Feds [...]

    Posted: August 07, 2007, 8:34pm EDT
  • Alberta Arts

    Picture this: brand new, tall and sleek luxury condos, anchored by high-end restaurants and boutiques on the ground floor. Parked along the street are new BMWs, shiny SUVs, and, of course, a handful of hybrids (it is Portland, mind you). The people [...]
    Posted: August 04, 2007, 9:14am EDT
  • REMINDER! ADDRESS CHANGE!

    Just another reminder that the address for this blog will be changing sometime early this week to [talesfromthestump.blogspot.com].
    Hopefully we won't lose any of our loyal readers in the transition (all two of you). I'll be notifying folks by email, myspace, etc. over the next day or two.Old and [...]
    Posted: August 03, 2007, 3:04pm EDT
  • Urban Exploration 101

    While the Wifey's been away up in Seattletown and Whistler, I've had the chance to get out a bit and explore a few locations/pick up a few things that have been sitting on my "Portland To Do List."

    -Picked up my new, and now fully refurbished, typewriter from [...]
    Posted: August 03, 2007, 1:20pm EDT
  • car camping and hillbilly harrasment

    In an effort to escape the bustle of city life, a couple friends and I decided to take a trip to Central Oregon for some camping fun. Bobby, on medical leave recovering from a tonsillectomy and eager to make the most of his time off, orchestrated the trip from his [...]
    Posted: July 29, 2007, 10:55am EDT
  • Return to the City of Roses

    Well, I made it back from the new country of Alaska (it recently seceded from the Canadian Empire) mostly intact but a little off my rocker...the constant sunlight (leading to sleep deprivation), lack of vegetables/fruit (leading to scurvy), and constant fear of bear/Eskimo attacks (leading to permanently soiled under-garments) took [...]
    Posted: July 27, 2007, 5:58pm EDT
  • Mt. Tum Tum

    A couple weeks ago, the town of Amboy, WA played host to the annual Mt. Tum Tum Encampment. While visiting my folks, I was able to visit the event, which gives local (and not so local) Native Americans an opportunity to gather for a weekend of sharing [...]
    Posted: July 10, 2007, 12:34pm EDT
  • Port Alexander Blues

    I got word from a resident of Port Alexander, Alaska, today, saying that they received communication from Old and Kesia. They were instructed to contact me via Morse code, relaying the details of their adventures in the wild bush. Some of the story may be lost in translation, as their [...]
    Posted: July 02, 2007, 3:18pm EDT
  • A new Blazer era

    As expected, the Portland Trail Blazers selected Greg Oden with their number one draft pick in the 2007 NBA draft. When considering the rarity of such an athletic and productive big man, the choice was easy. The Blazers will now be able to build around a frontcourt of LaMarcus Aldridge [...]
    Posted: June 29, 2007, 8:21am EDT
  • Old makes contact

    I just received a message from Old in Port Alexander, where he is staying with Kesia and her father at his home in the wild Alaskan bush. Due to the lack of technology in Canada, er, um Russia, I mean Alaska, and them being so far removed from civilization, Old [...]
    Posted: June 21, 2007, 11:37am EDT
  • Got Bed?

    I do now, and it's everything it's cracked up to be.

    For two and a half years, ever since I left the City by the Bay (one year in Denver, one and a half in the Stump), I've been left to do my dreaming and beauty sleeping on the [...]
    Posted: June 10, 2007, 11:55am EDT
  • Pocket Rocket

    I'm currently intoxicated.
    I finally quit my job today.
    I am officially unemployed and feel very free.
    I spent a few hours at a great local bar/restaurant with Jeff and Kes celebrating.
    This wonderful place is named Produce Row.
    It is right next to my former place of employment.
    It [...]
    Posted: May 30, 2007, 9:58pm EDT
  • Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges...!!!

    Jeff and I recently had a discussion about our lack of "Pondering Life" in our posts of late, and quite frankly, ever since the inception of these Portland chronicles. To match the spirit of our usual entry, we've decided on a name change.
    From now [...]
    Posted: May 26, 2007, 7:46pm EDT
  • Oden/Durant v. the Portland Pricks

    A few quickbitters:

    • Just heard on the news that car thefts in the Metro area are already up by 25% this year over last, and that percentage is expected to rise. Apparently, high numbers of retiring piggy-cops, plus no new piglets to take over the sty (recruitment is very [...]
    Posted: May 23, 2007, 10:40pm EDT

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