I’m working. I’m also spending most of my spare computer time developing my other site, including writing content for it’s yet to be installed blog. So what’s the future of dovate.com? Something. Maybe I’ll sell it to the manufacturers of dovate topical ointment.
Or maybe I’ll publish a book, one [...]
Everyone should take a minute to visit Albert Yee’s Septa Fail and then take another minute to contribute. This blog’s got potential. Here’s my first entry:
It’s the 1990’s and the dishonesty of the Clinton administration has struck a nerve with the general public. At a meeting of [...]
Sometime last week I decided that I needed a bird’s nest. The reason for this need isn’t important. I asked a friend if she could loan me the nest she keeps in her car when she’s back in Philly next month, but unfortunately that nest is gone. I asked my [...]
I’m dropping in after my long absence to update everyone’s favorite thing: Search Awards. February experienced a giant anal spike here at dovate.com. How? Why? As usual I have no idea. Maybe the Today Show did a segment on anal love. Whatever the reason, February’s most bizarre and hilarious search [...]
I haven’t posted the search awards for a few months. What’s behind this lapse in one of this site’s most popular series’? It’s a combination of things really… the primary one being that I haven’t been able to see many of my search results. Why this is, I don’t know. [...]
I’m moving, which means I’ve started taking the boxes that I never unpack out of my closet in preparation for their trip to a new closet. One of those boxes is old and has made its last trip, so I’ve unpacked the badly damaged box and transferred its contents to [...]
I’ve been in the Mayor’s Reception room twice now. The room is a grand old space. Marble and faux marble lines the wall. A weird fireplace adorned with naked men sits at the front. An enormous chandelier hangs from the twenty plus foot ceilings and the walls [...]
Yesterday I decided to head out for the day without a camera. I planned on going on a bike ride and didn’t want the extra weight and temptation to stop. Going unencumbered would help me move through the world differently. I’d be able to relax and just allow the beauty [...]
As promised earlier this year, I’m finally getting around to developing a professional site. That means that time I would usually spend writing stupid crap for this completely unprofessional site has been reassigned for intensive R&D. Posting during the development stage of this new site will be sporadic. Until I [...]
My mood today has been on a sinking course. After waking up feeling particularly refreshed, something in my brain broke loose and dragged me into a strange sadness. By the time I set out for work I was generally depressed. I stayed in that odd mental space for most of [...]
Today I stopped into my favorite hole in the wall camera store to flirt with the Canon 5D Mark II. They had one in stock and said that no one had claimed it. It’s the first one they’ve had in that hasn’t gone right back out the door in [...]
For those of you that care about this sort of thing, yesterday during that 4th quarter 4th and inches, I announced that “This is the game.” Now even though I said a lot of shit yesterday and throughout this and every other season, that particular statement turned out to be [...]
I’ve run from the police more times than I can remember.
Even though that statement sounds pretty badass, it actually goes something like this:
I’m a 16 years old, sitting at a train station watching the trains go by. Like most summer evenings, I’m crammed into the station’s little shelter with half [...]
For the past year or so, I’ve made it a point to check out all the crazy bootleg Obama-wear for sale at local street vendors. Today as I passed one near City Hall, I laughed… then stopped, then thought, I would pay as much as $10 for that. I pulled [...]
More than 10 years ago, I read the first review of Philadelphia that ever made sense. Recently I dug it back up from internet oblivion. Now I seek to give it new life.
All I have to add is that the reviewer didn’t even go to the strangest and most [...]
In case you haven’t noticed, posting has been half-assed and infrequent. This is the result of a perfect storm of extenuating circumstances. Although I owe you no excuse, I’ll list them here anyway.
- Since September I’ve been working a full-time job, plus about 20 hours a week of part time [...]
A few weeks ago, I gave up on the Eagles… but I forgot that God actually exists and Christmas miracles do indeed come true. Here’s my amended post. Go Reid/McNabb!!!
It was about 3:45 yesterday afternoon when I heard the familiar, annual speech. This year I heard it while I [...]
Inspired by Geekadelphia’s post of Bro for sale down at 6th and Washington, I bring you some shots I just had to take during a recent trip to the very same supermarket. Why buy bro when a beautiful 2 lb. chunk of purple meat is only $1.30 more per [...]
Years ago I was coming back from one of the greatest vacations of my life. After a year of non-stop work and school, I spent a week living in the woods of New Hampshire inside a converted 1-room school house with a woman I shared a deep and growing affection [...]
I’ve been going through my brain for old stories from the animal ER where I used to work and here’s another one:
Being a premier institution of animal care and research, we’d attract a lot of celebrities. Socks the Clinton’s Cat was a patient. So was Oprah’s dog and the [...]
Having solved the Toynbee tile enigma, I thought I’d turn my attention to another long-standing Philadelphia mystery. Is Mumia guilty?
After years of research: Hell yes, he’s guilty as shit.
Here’s what happened. Mumia shot Faulkner. The city of Philadelphia had a strong case… but decided to make it stronger [...]
Way out west of 50th street lives an old, dear friend of mine. We’ve been friends for years, but don’t talk much anymore. Actually my emails, calls and texts go unanswered. He’s not ignoring me, we’ve just gotten kind of shitty at things like keeping in touch. He’s also [...]
Long ago I worked in an animal emergency room, triaging incoming calls, registering dying animals and milking their owners for every heartfelt penny that they had. It was the most god-awful job in the world, but the hours were good for school and it paid 100% of my tuition. One [...]
Actually that title is a little dramatic. I still have a drunken, 2:30AM place in my heart for Lorenzos, and (upstairs!) at Tattooed Moms is still alright every now and then, but the strips draw - the 4th and South Toynbee Tile - is now history. For those that [...]
Are you depressed? Do you want to be? Either way, you should dim the lights, sit down, stare straight ahead and listen to this 45-minute recording produced by Jim Jones, during his big Kool Aid party down in Jonestown. I don’t mean to joke or be dismissive. The tape is [...]
It was about 3:45 yesterday afternoon when I heard the familiar, annual speech. This year I heard it while I was driving home from an afternoon of holiday shopping at a liquor store in New Jersey. I was just getting towards home when Merrill Reese started in: Eagles fans are [...]
Blast from the past:
[...]
One of the things I hate most about George W. Bush is how he’s reshaped internet conspiracy culture. In the 90’s all the talk was of UFO’s and government cover-ups of intergalactic wars. The best stories were strange metaphysical treatises written by total lunatics. I remember reading that Harry [...]
Sometime in early October I got really, really busy. This hasn’t stopped and has no end in sight. Maybe I’ll post something later.
[...]In anticipation of visiting R. Crumb’s exhibition at the ICA, I sat down and watched the Crumb documentary again. Again, wow.
I can’t say much that hasn’t already been said… except that the man is clearly a product of Philadelphia. He’s like some kind of monstrous composite of half [...]
Now that budget cuts have beaten Philadelphia back into post Phillies/Obama reality, it’s time to go negative and make some enemies.
As I understand it, long ago when the city was deciding which neighborhood to eviscerate with an inadequate highway, South Street was on the shortlist. Believe it or not Society [...]
Holy shit. I mean wow. Just wow. Last night none of the speeches or massive celebrations or car horns, or TV commentators could make it seem real. This morning, it sunk in.
People talk about how perceptions of the United States will be changing around the world. Fuck around the world. [...]
Break From Politics.
When I was a teen growing up in Mt. Airy, I used to hang out in the woods near my house. A favorite spot was along an abandoned rail bed near the border of Mt. Airy and Chestnut Hill. The rail line was set in a long, wide [...]
On Friday I agreed to shoot a dance performance at Mascher Space co-op in Kensington. As I turned off Girard and headed north on Germantown ave towards the studio, I slowed my bike to a gentle roll and took in the Halloween night. On busier streets I’d been on [...]
I’ve been busy on this Halloween week. It’s a shame, because I love Halloween. For now, please enjoy one of my Halloween themed self portraits:
If you told me a year ago that on October 27th 2008, the Phillies would be up 3 games to 1 in the World Series and that every indication was pointing to the election of President Barack “Hussein” Obama a week after that, I’d tell you that you were fucking [...]
“Oh my God” was what I said to myself last Saturday as I sat waiting for the bus at 42nd and Chestnut. It was a beautiful fall afternoon and I noticed a couple of raptors soaring overhead. One was a standard hawk, but the other one was different. It was [...]
What I’m about to post is deeply disgusting and an offense to women everywhere. With that said, it’s about Sarah Palin. It’s also spotted here and there with some genuinely good satire. And finally, at risk of saying something as stupid as “she brought it on herself” she really did [...]
If you’re an avid reader of this site, you’ll already know that I was recently in Montreal. In warm weather, it’s one of my favorite cities on earth. Growing up in a city of about 1.5 million has given me a certain affinity for its scale. It’s just big enough [...]
The internet is an amazing tool. Other times, it isn’t.
Craigslist is great for listing and finding apartments. Youtube has changed the world by empowering the people to make and distribute videos for free. But when you combine these 2 world shaking innovations, all you get is the a serial killer’s [...]
I was lying on my back in the woods near my house in Northwest Philly. It was a late autumn night and when the wind blew the trees swayed with it. I was 16 and alone with myself in an altered state of mind. My mouth tasted like metal [...]
When I was 12 years old, one of my friends gave me some valuable and genuine advice: “Don’t believe what anyone says. Smoking really does make you cool.”
That was the day I tried my first cigarette.
If you’re a virgin to smoking, each drag makes your lungs tight. It hurts. [...]
With all the vacationing that was happening at the beginning of September, I never posted the August Search Awards. So today’s is a double feature, August and September.
Each month, I check my site stats and pull out the strangest search terms that brought people to dovate.com during the previous [...]
Did you know that Bowhead whales can live for more than 200 years? That was one of the many facts I heard for the second time in as many years during a whale watch up in Maine. I’ve seen whales from Alaska to Newfoundland and I never get tired of [...]
I was going to post a bunch of pictures of whales, but I decided to buy a block of gold, a shotgun and a bunch of boards for my windows instead. I was also kept up half the night by a mosquito loose in my room, so I’m not at [...]
30 second exposures turned to animation. Thanks to eric for sending me this link.
Light-Paint Piano Player from Ryan Cashman on Vimeo.
Today found me sitting bitch in the back of a Philly Car Share minivan with 2 Northern Irish political aides tapping away at their blackberries on either side of me. It was odd. All was part of a very brief tour of the city’s public art for Cabinet Minister [...]
Ravens, the larger more intelligent version of the already brainy common crow, are amazing birds. They play, they reason and they can even be trained to talk. In honor of the Autumn equinox, today is Raven Day at dovate.com. To honor the Raven itself, I bring you John James Audubon’s [...]
The Federal Reserve continued to deny a bailout to more than 38,000,000 Americans living in poverty, characterizing such a move as “an unnecessary burden to hardworking taxpayers.” Calling the potential action by the Fed a “dangerous step towards a socialist system that we cannot afford to take.” President Bush condemned [...]
I grew up in a strange little corner of Philadelphia called Mt. Airy. If you’ve never been there, Mt. Airy is like a college town without a college… or students. Imagine West Philly if all the Penn kids died, all the poor people were middle class, all the gentrifiers were [...]
Last week I was contacted by CBS3 internet reporter (and former Miss Pennsylvania) Nicole Brewer about creating a site profile for the station. The webcast would chronicle the fascinating world of dovate.com and more specifically my bizarre obsession with the Toynbee tiles. Self-promoter that I am, I did 2 [...]
John McCain arrived at Reading Terminal Market today, to boisterous shouts of “Boo”, “O-BA-MA” and my personal favorite, “Fuck McCain.” The crowd swelled to a few dozen as curious shoppers wandered over to see what all the fuss was about.
I was one of the smattering of spectators. Without a [...]
I’m worried about my neighbor. The primaries are long since over. The convention has come and gone, but they still have a Hillary Clinton sign in their window. I’ve never seen anyone come or go from the house and I can only assume that they’re dead. They must have died [...]
Well vacation is over. Many photos were taken, much fun was had, food eaten, memories forged. My travels took me to the human colony known as “Canada.” I captured this photo on the surface of that strange and beautiful world:
But now work is back. Laundry has to be done, [...]
After consulting my hazy memory, I think that my last 2 week vacation was in September 1997. I flew out to Oregon and stayed in a small trailer behind an overcrowded shack of a house in Eugene. There were dogs and drug dealers and guns and crystal meth and the [...]
There’s a problem with people. Some of them are violent criminals. This makes doing things like flashing cash on the street stupid. Doing this can attract the attention of the rif raff. It’s like taking a sandwich out near a flock of seagulls.
Camera bags don’t necessarily have a problem, [...]
When I was a kid, my favorite beer was Crazy Horse. Named for the Oglala Sioux Warrior, the malt liquor beverage went down as smooth and easy as the 7th Calvary at Little Bighorn. I’d buy my 40oz bottles a little way down the Avenue, where poor minorities lived, [...]
There’s a badly kept secret that I’m amazed more people don’t take advantage of. Even though it feels like a scam, it’s not. It’s completely legit. What is it?
In just over 5 years, I was able to earn a Penn degree for $0.00. At the time, that was a savings [...]
But seriously… would Cryptomundo.com lie? Here’s the press release:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
August 12, 2008
BIGFOOT BODY FOUND
DNA evidence and photo evidence to be presented at a
PRESS CONFERENCE
to be held on
Date: Friday, August 15, 2008
Time: From 12Noon-1:00pm
Place: Cabana Hotel-Palo Alto (A Crown Plaza [...]
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been reacquainted with my old friend, Rittenhouse Square. I could go on here about how much time I’ve spent in the park in the last 15 years, or recount all the strange things I’ve seen, done and seen done there. Maybe someday I’ll write [...]
Recently, a popular local bar got in trouble for serving lion. Citizens rose up to protest that a farm raised version of the remorseless, man-eating predator was on the menu. This confuses me. Cows, pigs, lambs, chickens, buffalo… none of these threaten humans, but we serve them regularly to minimal [...]
It started with an email.
She’d been on a downward spiral for months, breaking down in front of me and everyone around her just about every day. You didn’t know what the situation would be at any given time. It had gotten to the point where “R” could no longer [...]
First a little explanation. Yesterday I was taking photos at one of the “Night Out” events here in Philly. It was a block party at the rec center in South Philly. There were all sorts of events, including a dance contest.
When you take 6-700 photos at an event, some [...]
This month’s search awards are going anal. For whatever reason, dovate.com has pulled in a lot of the rectal probing audience this summer. Welcome.
There are also only 20 top terms this month. Why? The crop just wasn’t that good. Maybe I should do more to generate search traffic, like [...]
If around minute 3, you start asking yourself why in the hell you’re still watching this, push on. You’ve got to see it to the end:
I had a friend (I’ll call him Luke) who was circumcised at age 17. Why he did it, I have no idea. I think his mom scheduled the appointment for him and he didn’t really think about it until the day of, and by then it was too late. He [...]
Every time I upgrade the memory of a computer at work, I’m left holding essentially useless RAM chips. For a while I just stuck them in a drawer… but one day in a flash of inspiration, I started clipping them to a bizarre multi-pronged, telescoping antennae thing that I found [...]
I’d like to take this opportunity to (not quite) shamelessly promote myself. First off, my place of employment, the Mur@l @rts Progr@m is holding a staff and instructor exhibition in their awkwardly named gallery: The Commonwe@lth Gallery in the Lincoln Financial Mur@l @rts Center at the Thom@s Eakins House (or [...]
Last week talk at work turned to Steven Seagal. The conversation made me wonder what he’s been up to since “Under Siege,” so I hopped on over to StevenSegal.com for an update. It turns out he’s doing pretty well for himself. Did you know that he’s been in [...]
Since it’s too hot to think of anything interesting, I’ll post a list of raw data. Below is the ever-expanding list of 2008 Toynbee Tiles.
What the tiler may have lacked in quality, he more than made up for in quantity. The current list stands at 40, with most recent [...]
The buzz around crack has been around since the mid-80’s, but missed opportunities and bad timing have kept me from reviewing this popular drug. I know that I’m late to the party, but I thought it was still worth a try.
Unlike its big brother cocaine, crack is an [...]
The following is an excerpt from my yet-to-be-finished Romance Novel: Atlantic City Sunrise. Actually… no. I was down the shore this weekend and picked up a romance novel from a free book table. It was really, really bad, but I thought it might be fun to write. Enjoy:
—-
Atlantic City Sunrise: [...]
You read that right Philadelphia. Your beloved mayor is jihadist scum. Last Wednesday, I captured these images of Mayor Nutter doling out terrorist fist jabs at a public event. As a further insult, this was a Sunoco sponsored fun day commemorating our nation’s birth. Why is he [...]
Here we go again. It’s time for the June Search Awards. These 25 strings of text are the most bizarre search terms that led people to this site in last month. I hope nobody found what they were looking for…. Except for number 17.
25. riot threads duffle bag
24. sexual [...]
About a year ago I borrowed my ex-girlfriend’s car and went on vacation by myself. Actually I split the time half and half, first with a friend in Portland Maine and then alone in Acadia… sort of. My parents were in Acadia and I met up with them a couple [...]
One of my favorite things on all of the internet is google trends. For example, this Phillyblog/Philadelphia Will Do post(s) shows that the largest regional share of searches for the word “penis” originate in Delhi, India and Philadelphia. But why stop there?
While the city is [...]
About a year ago, several large, colorful street tiles appeared in Buffalo, NY. By winter the “House of Hades” tiles had been completely destroyed by snowplows. But their creators have been tenacious. Earlier this year, a new batch appeared in Buffalo. Now, a HHH tile has popped [...]
I’ve been slacking on Toynbee tile updates. A few weeks back, the first of the 08’ tiles appeared on center city streets. I’m slacking because after 2007’s re-introduction of original style tiles, these new ones just aren’t that exciting. With 1 minor exception, all are long, thin, 2-line tiles [...]
Facebook uses CAPTCHA’s (Completely Automated Public Turing Test’s) to protect against spam. I’m sure you’ve seen them. They’re those squiggly font things that pop up when you log onto your blogger profile, or into your favorite porn site.
Unlike most Turing Tests, Facebook’s reCAPTCHA technology generates real words. Because very [...]
If you’ve lived in Philadelphia long enough, you’ve probably witnessed the strange sight of cowboys trotting coolly and deliberately up a blighted North Philly Street. Or maybe not. But they do exist and it is a strange thing to see. As with just about everything in Philadelphia, there’s even a [...]
Since I’ve got nothing to say today, I’m digging through the archives of my phony product reviews. In days past, I had a bad habit of writing fake product reviews for odd items I found on epinions.com. Here’s one I wrote for something called the “Rectal Fever Thermometer.”
—
I am constantly [...]
Give it about 48 seconds. It will all make sense after that.
[view.break.com] - Watch more free videos
Last week, a check for $600 arrived in my mailbox. I immediately went out and used it as the down payment on a $450,000 house out in some new development off of Route 30, halfway to Lancaster. The interest rate is great until 2010!
But seriously, I had planned on [...]
MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.
Until they can do this, all of Philly’s graffiti, murals, stickers, posters and robot man tiles are shit. As a side note, Toynbee tiles are still cool. Via Geekadelphia.
[...]The Philadelphia International Championship Bike Race is this Sunday. Brave the heat and go see the bikers bike by.
There aren’t many places in this city where I can go to escape, but those places do exist. Last Sunday I needed such a place. Since this spot is so fucking cool, I’ve posted about it before. Since it’s a secret, I’m not giving directions. What I will tell you [...]
Yes, it’s that time of the month! May produced an interesting and varied crop of search hits here at dovate.com. As always, I’ve gone through the search strings that led people to this site and posted my favorites for public consumption:
25. fotos d anorexia
24. jumpshot drug
23. kangaroo mating [...]
Occasionally, my place of employment attracts minor celebrities and future Kings of England. Last week, it was minor celebrities. Apparently Jane Seymour, (better known as Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman) is a big fan of public art. Who knew?
Here’s a quick, crappy shot I took with the incredibly annoying Canon [...]
Well, quitting the internet didn’t work. And if you happened to visit yesterday only to see that this site was gone completely, that was an accident. I don’t know what happened, but it’s better now. For my triumphant return, please enjoy this deeply bitter and miserable rant:
Until a couple [...]
You know what, internet? Fuck you. Seriously. You’ve been wasting my time for far too long and I quit. I’m sick of your news and your message boards and your goddamn opinions. I can’t take it and I’m not playing anymore. I gave you my time and energy for years [...]
